Great Christianity Joke

From Ship of Fools:

Jesus came upon a crowd that had surrounded a young woman believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old woman at the back of the crowd picked up a rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old woman and said: "You know, Mom, sometimes you really piss me off."

I Think it Looks Worse than it is

Oof. The Republicans used actors instead of soldiers in their stirring video.



To be fair, though, there's surely a law against using federal employees in a political campaign video. Isn't there?

And This is Why I'm a Misanthrope

After watching the Republican National Convention, I'm not longer worried about him. I agree with Jon Stewart: "SHIT on him!" Whether or not McCain is directly responsible for the nasty, nasty tone of the RNC doesn't matter. He's sold out in a big way, and he's begun to bring in the same bastards who smeared him in 2000. That's total bullshit. I hope he can live with himself after selling his soul to get elected--but since he married Cruella DeVille (admit it, you know she'd feel more comfortable with a martini and long cigarette in her hands than a mic)



and spent time in the Hanoi Hilton (which every speaker at the RNC is contractually bound to relate in stirring terms), I guess he can live with pretty much anything.

But, again, I say fuck that guy. I feel betrayed by him because of this convention. It was ugly Rove smear politics as usual, and I hope (but doubt) the Democrats are ready for what's coming at Obama and Biden.

I think what is at the root of my anger is the insubstantial theater that both of the conventions really are and the total lack of care about the truth and facts. I read Politicfact (and really, really missed Spinsanity) for the whole DNC and was disappointed at the falsehoods and half-truths spewed by most speakers--including Obama. But what bothered me most about the DNC was really the rah-rah Obama-will-give-every-kid-a-pony, there-will-be-more-rainbows, and unicorns-will-again-roam-the-Earth promises I heard. It was stupid, blind optimism (and that's not just because I'm reading Candide right now).

But that's nothing compared to the mean-spirited, misinform-people-who-won't-question-what-you-say, cast-everyone-else-as-"the angry Left", bullshit politics of Rove & Co. I thought things would be different with McCain. I thought that even if I disagreed with him I could still respect him in the morning, but that's not the case. Thompson's speech was mean, Guliani's speech was meaner (expected from that ill-tempered little garden gnome), Romney's was only snarky, but Palin's was the worst I'd seen so far. Not only didn't she tell me why I should vote for her, but she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know (McCain was a POW...see, told you...contractually obligated) or couldn't hear from Rush Limbaugh (Obama is a terrible, liberal, tax-raising, inexperienced, politician.) OK, that's not totally fair. I did learn that she loves her union-member husband, thinks the PTA is some sort of job qualification, has some screwy ideas on naming conventions for children, didn't need advisors or polls to know the voters when she ran for city council in a town of 9800 people (significantly smaller than Vidor, TX if that tells you anything), and successfully sold a jet on eBay as governor of Alaska. Congra-tu-fucking-lations.

I expected what I got from the DNC (cheerleading, "healing," and some feeble swipes at Republicans), and I knew I'd be disappointed and annoyed by their convention. But I expected more from the RNC--at least a modicum of civility. I can't decide if the Republicans are getting vicious because the campaign is inept and panicked, or if they planned to run this kind of campaign all along.

I told my wife that if McCain won based on a campaign like the convention (as opposed to beating Obama on issues or on some sort of unforeseen mistake or revelation on the Democratic ticket) I'd really consider looking for a job outside the country. I was serious when I said it, and I would do it if it weren't for the family farm. I want to go back there so badly, that it may single-handedly keep me in this country. (I won't leave if Obama wins, of course, but I also won't expect much.) Either way, I'm close to washing my hands of the whole bloody mess again.

Correction

In an earlier (Sept. 1) posting, I mistakenly referred to the Center for Reproductive Rights as "CCR." I just want to clarify that while the CRR may not have a problem with a "Fortunate Son" being born, they think that a "Proud Mary" should have a choice as to whether or not to have him. They see the election of McCain-Palin as a "Bad Moon Rising" but hope that particular "Someday Never Comes." So "Run Through the Jungle" to tell everyone of my error unless they've already "Heard it Through the Grapevine."

Apologies to CRR, CCR, and fans of humor everywhere.

I'm Starting to Worry About McCain

I've made no secret that I used to like McCain. In fact, early during the primary season some of my friends on Myspace began to question me about why I had Obama, Paul, and McCain as friends. Well, I hadn't made up my mind yet. I mean, I might have voted for him in 2000 if he'd run against Gore in the general election (really).

But this isn't the McCain that I saw back then; this is the McCain that I saw in primary whose campaign spiraled out of control and who didn't seem to have a handle on anything that was going on. He pulled it together then based in part on the idiocy of Guliani, the weirdness of Paul, and the...Romney-ness...of Romney. He won't have that luxury against Obama who's slooooooowly regaining some momentum.

It's starting to leak out that maybe the McCain campaign didn't vet their VP very thoroughly (how long, by the way, until "V-PILF" becomes an accepted term if McCain-Palin win the election?). I don't understand how this can happen. It's not like McCain is in the same situation Bush was in when he trotted out the vastly unqualified Hariet Myers for the SCOTUS position. Bush really had as many chances as he wanted to get someone in there; it's not like after 3 someone else gets to choose. McCain got one choice. One. And he chose Palin. There are some reasons for his choice, but haven't heard a lot of compelling ones from the McCain camp yet. They've had a long weekend to introduce her to America, and all most of us know is that she has a pregnant, unwed daughter; that she is Pro-Life and favors abstinence-only sex-ed (and we know this because her daughter--with whom I would never want to trade places and for whom I genuinely feel sympathy for her peculiar situation--is pregnant); that she was governor of Alaska for 1.5 years, was mayor of Wasilla, AK, and was involved in the PTA; that she's being investigated for alleged ethic violations; and that she's kinda purty.

There's more to know. There's much more positive to know. Where is it? Even the McCain spokespeople haven't given the media anything with which to work, and we know from the 2000 election with Al Gore that if you don't give the media something, they will make something: as James Carville once said, "if you want reporters to write about hamburger, you give them hamburger. You don't give them French fries and ice cream."

It just worries me that the McCain camp is letting news cycle after news cycle of negative stories about Palin go without providing anything positive about her. Combine that with the lack of vetting (or poor, poor decision--whichever, it doesn't matter), and it seems that maybe McCain's the only one who really cares whether he wins or not. Obviously these dickheads don't.

UPDATE: It seems McCain-Palin is getting a bit of a bump (maybe not the best word choice there) out of this pregnancy thing with the evangelical crowd, which is good for them but could not have been planned by the campaign. But there's also this: it's been alleged that Palin and her husband once belonged to the Alaskan Independence Party, which seeks a vote for the secession of Alaska from the US. That, if true, would be more important than her pregnant daughter and the seemingly-silly Troopergate. It would call into question her patriotism, which ain't good (as Obama can attest to).

Oh, Levi Johnston, you're making my schadenfreude act up again.

I don't usually rely on The Superficial (and what's worse, that post was based on the NY Post) for my political news, but this is just too damn good to pass up. Bristol Palin's self-acclaimed "fuckin' redneck" baby daddy has been discovered.

It's about what the DailyKos and MoveOn.org were hoping for. Me, I'm filled with glee to be able to see Tucker Bounds again get de-stroyed by CNN reporters.

(Just a note about that video, Bounds missed his chance. He noted that their VP has as much experience than the Dems' Pres. candidate, and he should have kept hitting that note. Instead he talked about the Commander-in-Chief aspect of her job and took the conversation in an unwanted (for Republicans) direction.)

I don't much give a damn what this means for the election, and I've blogged earlier that I don't think it should have much, if any, effect on it. But damn it's fun to watch people get owned by reporters on real issues since it happens less frequently these days.

Correction

Earlier, I asserted that Wolf Blitzer was associated with Beverly Hills Cop. Further research has shown this to be false.

It has now been learned that "The Beard" is actually a form of kuato that has been removed from the abdomen of Michael MacDonald. (Artist rendering shown above.) This was apparently done shortly before MacDonald began "Takin' it to the Streets" because, in the words of Patrick Simmons, "the Doobie Brothers don't take no damn freaks."

This development fills in some blanks that the Faltermeyer Theory could not address. The most important of the questions was why would "The Beard" be so attached to his face-mane when Faltermeyer was a bare-faced German? Now we know that "The Beard" is not only part of a keyboard-playing soft-rocker who's been rocking facial hair since before I was born, he also spent his formative years just inches below MacDonald's chest hair. "The Beard" knows nothing else. To expect him to deny the facial hair and keyboard heritage with which he was suckled is inhumane.